I just want to make a brief reference to the weekend’s vlog experiment. My friend, Ellie (whose ever-eloquent, intelligent and insightful blog you can read here) said to me on Saturday night: “I watched the videos on your blog. It was kind of like just watching someone go completely insane,” which, I think sums it all up perfectly. I also take this entirely as a compliment.
So instead of my weekly visual food diary – which I haven’t done for reasons that will later be outlined – I thought that I’d just post a few little updates as to the culinary treats I’ve been keeping myself busy with in addition to the ones documented in the videos.
On Monday night I made pizza with spinach and caramelised onion. Which I’ve eaten now so uh, no pictures. Also, Tommy left his camera at home so now I will have to make do with borrowing his iPhone instead of his swanky camera… like that’s a hardship compared to my total lack of camera/smartphone…
I made way too much dough. So then I made garlic flatbread and a few dough-balls with the aforementioned garlic butter to keep in the fridge until I fancy them. Had the dough balls with an avocado salad, with enough dough left for garlic bread to have with some baked cod tomorrow night ! Divine.
I used Jamie Oliver’s dough recipe, subbed the white flour for wholemeal and with all quantities halved… then halved again. This was still a COLOSSAL amount of dough. I recommend halving again ! Although his recipe was for 6… maybe I should get some more friends…
I also made oat cookies (with cinnamon, figs and dark chocolate) which I ended up taking to an impromptu Christmas gathering at my friends’ house (the ones who own the guinea pig !).
What was freaky about this was that in the space of about an hour I got the spontaneous urge to bake, stumbled almost immediately across a low-cal oat cookie recipe for which I already had all the ingredients (whose link I have already lost), and no sooner had I put the cookies in the oven did Will from over the road call to invite us over later for sherry and mulled wine. Great, because it means I won’t eat them ALL (despite having a cold and not being able to taste one lousy bite when I had a sneaky sample. Ultimate disappointment. Tommy and Priya said they were good, but they can hardly say otherwise, can they … ?).
In other news, I’m trying so very hard to stop calorie-counting. I know in the long run it makes me miserable, but not knowing exactly how much I’ve ingested each day makes me incredibly nervous. In a horrible way that I’ve never before experienced, I’m sort of dreading the Christmas period and how I choose to handle it; will I gorge myself and feel insanely guilty and depressed for a long time afterwards ? Or will I restrict and deny myself throughout and end up ruining my and everybody else’s good time ? I can already feel the temptation, nay, expectation for me to stuff my face “because it’s Christmas” creeping closer and closer; my mother posted my chocolate advent calendar to me the other day, parties and meals are being planned, all the shelves in all the shops are full to bursting with chocolate and everywhere I look there are adverts for low-price festive food and drink.
I know a lot of people gain weight over the holiday and that’s fine. But I just don’t know if I can handle the guilt and self-loathing that will inevitably come when I step on that scale on January 1st 2012. Just don’t weigh yourself ? you say. But I will.
I am a total hypocrite, I know (see Alarming Thoughts and Love and Advice) but it’s just the way I think and I can’t help that. Giving other people the nutritional advice that I have stumbled across during my rocky relationship with food makes me feel good, but it clearly doesn’t mean that I’ll necessarily follow it myself. It is certainly very tricky, although hopefully if I deal with the obsession in the right way, it will gradually get better with time and positive thinking, and ultimately I will learn to not be so uptight…
This is why I haven’t drawn a food diary. I think, whilst cute and fun in small doses, that my keeping such a close eye on what I’m eating is becoming just a little bit damaging. So I deleted my food diary/calorie counts from my computer so that I couldn’t look at them and made myself forget exactly what I did eat last week, so therefore am unable to draw a food diary today. I hope to be able to do one next week though !
So plans for this week:
1. I bought a bit of goat’s cheese to have in a bagel with my fig jam… I do hope this cold clears up so that I can taste by the time I decide to dig in !
2. I may have to make some kind of potato gratin-esque dish (although I will obviously have to substitute something for the cream… no no no) because I have leftover mozz from the pizza I made and some potatoes that are about to spoil. I’m sure I’ll make something up.
3. For my birthday in October, Tommy bought me a set of posh jams, of which I have polished off the raspberry. This week, I start the marmalade. I am excited.
And lastly, prepare for a spot of relief from my greasy-haired, baggy-trouser-ed hippie vegetarian culinary escapades in the form of my bouncy blonde, full-face-o-makeup, clean-shaven nubile sister, Meg. She is also a wise cooking owl and has been baking for many years; she will be making Christmas cupcakes as an Amy Eats guest. Watch this space !
Ciao for now, my pets.